Learning Control

Several times lately I have seen the statement that says, "Sometimes memories are seen as tears running down my cheeks."  I get that.  Sometimes they are out of control.  What I have found is that when I am tired or stressed I have less control of this.  That is my fear with going back into the classroom.  It is both exhausting and stressful.  What do I do when my mind goes back to the pain?  How do I handle the defiant kid?  I have struggled with controlling my reactions with my own children. They know where I am.  How do I do that with others?  The though of the classroom brings tears to my eyes.  I know God has me there and will help me but I really don't know what that will look like.  When I think about it, I cry.  I suppose I will learn to control the tears and let them flow at night.  There are very few that understand where I am.  They are not at work.  At school, I am supposed to be in control.  I can fake it, but I am not sure for how long.  Going to learn control.  Somehow, Someway.