Revelation

My husband is dead.  I know, you already know this, but would you believe that even after almost 17 months I still wake up some days with this revelation.  Some days it is like a new realization.  Some days, I think it and remind myself that I got this.  Some days, I think it and God tells me we got this.  Some days, I feel like I am drowning in the Hudson River with weights tied to my feet (to many movies, I know).  I remind myself of how far we have come.  I remind myself of the things I have accomplished that I never would have dreamed.  Some days I remember all the decisions yet to make.  Some days it is new.  Some days it is not.  Everyday it is my reality.