Lonely

I just need to say it......I am really lonely.  I am around people all of the time but I have no one to talk to.  I mean to really talk to.  People want to fix things.  People want to give me advice.  People think they are supposed to say something.  I just need a safe place.  I need a person to talk to.  I need to not feel so very alone.  The people I once thought were so close are all but gone.  Others have stepped in but not in a way that makes me feel safe.  I feel like a leper sometimes.  There is something wrong.  People don't know what to say so they stay away.  I know that I have never had a multitude of people close to me but right now I would really love to have someone.  I cry because I always wished Rocky would talk  to me more.  I know now that we talked all the time.  About stuff that mattered.  About my heart.  I had no idea what I had in him.  God, I miss him.  Now, I am lonely.  I am suffering.  I am tired.  I am doubting myself and my ability to do this.  I just wish I didn't feel so alone.  Please don't tell me that God is with me.  I know.