Thinking of you......these words are now a source of absolute frustration for me. People who have been my "friends" from before Rocky's death have been no where to be seen. As the holidays approach, I get texts, cards, messages that people have been thinking of me. What do you think they are thinking? Sorry I wasn't there for you this year? Don't know how you are going to do Christmas without him? I honestly don't know what they are thinking about. I think they are thinking, thank God it isn't me. That goes with the comments, I could never do all you do. You are so strong. You're such an inspiration. Blah, blah, blah.....I am doing nothing more than dealing with the circumstances life has dealt me. Please, don't think about me if you don't care.
On the other hand. People who were once strangers or casual acquaintances have become my closest friends. They are not thinking about me, they are there for me. They stop me in public and give me a hug and I realize how much I crave human touch. They prepare my home for the holidays. They make meals and fill my freezer so dinner is not another stressor in my life. They take my kids holiday shopping. They give me books and words of inspiration. They pray with me. They find a way to take me to lunch or dinner (usually enlisting the help of their families). They do. No offense but right now your thoughts do nothing for me.
I have struggled to find God in the midst of this, especially during the holidays. Then I remember these people who have come to me are the hands and feet of God and I am thankful for them.
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