A year later

This year I have learned a lot.  Here are some thoughts.

1.  Widow Fog is for real.  I have never lost or misplaced so many things in my life.  I honestly have no clue where things go.  It is waaaaaay worse than pregnancy brain so don't tell me you can relate. 

2.  The word friend is used very loosely in our world.  There really are few who stick with you but the few that do are gems that need to be treasured.  They are not who you may expect them to be either.

3.  Love a widows kids, love the widow.

4.  People say dumb things, try to see their heart and move on.  They truly know now what they do.

5.  People run from pain.  They aren't sure what to do so they do nothing.  They don't mean to.  Again, they know not what they do or don't do.

6.  Please don't ask a widow to call if she needs you, she's not calling.  Look for the need and just fill it, even if she protests.  Silently, she is so thankful for you. 

7.  Living with regrets is pointless.  Try to not have any.  I know easier said than done.

8.  Counseling is a good thing.  My counselor has helped me process, works with me with strategies for my kids, gives me advice.  She is so special, sometimes I forget I am paying her to listen:)

9.  Take pictures.  Take them of the good and the bad.  I regret having no pictures of the funeral.  Sounds strange.  Nope, that was the manifestation of his life.  Film the service, take still shots.  Record it all, especially for the children.  They won't remember the details and honestly, neither will you (remember the widow's fog?).

10.  Live the legacy.  Rocky left an amazing legacy in his children and his friends.  I will do my best to honor that and more forward.  God is not done with us and he is not done with Rocky's life influencing us.  Press on and love big.

11.  Decide what church means to you.   I have learned that people, many of which do not worship in the same place as me on Sunday mornings are the church.  The church is the sky.  The church is my rocking chair. The church is my tears.  The church is me.  Perhaps I have learned not to put expectations on the institution.  The institution and its people will offend if you let them.  Find your own peace with your maker.

12. God is still on the throne.  Always will be.  He has been my provider and comforter.  He will see me through this and has great plans for me and my children.